Living in a Bubble

Ever noticed how we appear to be increasingly alienated from one another these days? Locked away in our own little world: jacked into iPods, mobiles and laptops. Distracted. Remote. Hived off.

Nobody seems to pay any attention to anybody else anymore. We have become compartmentalised. Each of us inhabiting our own private universe. Seemingly unaware that we share our world with other sentient beings.

When we do occasionally notice ‘other people’, it’s often with a sense of annoyance and irritability that we have been jarred out of our private realm: when someone cuts in front of us in the supermarket queue, or accidentally bumps into us on a crowded city street.

Its as if ‘other people’ aren’t real. They have become abstractions. Components parts in a metaphorical A.I. simulation. Welcome to The Matrix.

Other people are increasingly seen as an inconvenience. An unwelcome distraction. Intruders into our proprietary, private worlds. This appears particularly prevalent in our towns and cities, although I’ve started noticing it more in rural locations. The sickness seems to be spreading… even the countryside is no longer safe.

Sometime during the past 20 years, there appears to have been an incremental erosion of trust to the point where ‘other people’ are now increasingly regarded with suspicion and unease. Perhaps to some extent it was ever thus, but I’ve certainly noticed a significant change in attitude during my own lifetime.

Take the tube. Walk to work in any city. Take the train. You will notice this social partitioning and siege mentality in action on a daily basis. Has society broken down at some basic atomic level? If so, how did this happen? What can we do to reconnect with one another? Why should we do it at all?

To my mind, society isn’t irrevocably disintegrating, but it’s exhibiting some clear signs of fracturing. Fundamental fault lines that threaten the stability of the entire social fabric, unless we take steps to repair them. The recent civil unrest and rioting in London (and elsewhere), are obvious signs that something important is broken.

So, how do we heal the rift? I don’t pretend to have the answers, but perhaps we should start here…

The Importance of Taking Time Out

My wife and I took a week off work recently. Nothing too fancy. We toured Shropshire, Herefordshire and Worcestershire, including the Malvern Hills. We spent most of our time sight-seeing, walking, chatting over meals, reading and sleeping. Bliss! In a nutshell, we took some well-earned time out to de-stress, relax and re-charge our batteries.

When I returned to work, a colleague asked if I’d had an enjoyable break, and mentioned in passing that he had taken just 3 days of his annual holiday allowance so far this year! Just 3 days in 8 months! How can anyone possibly decompress and rest up properly in such a short space of time?

It got me thinking. Sadly, it strikes me that my colleague’s experience is becoming an all too familiar feature of the modern UK workplace. An unwelcome transatlantic import from our overworked and stressed out American cousins.

In contemporary workplace culture, not taking holidays and working long hours is often seen as a ‘badge of honour’. Rather than encouraging their staff to take time out, most corporations are complicit in encouraging such macho working practices, or at least tacitly consent to them by turning a blind eye.

‘More widgets’ is seen as an inherently good thing, even if productivity is close to zero, and it takes a disproportionately high amount of time and effort to create those extra widgets. Most corporations take the simplistic view that more of something is always better. Is it really?

Our Iceberg is Melting – Lessons from the Penguin Story

I recently read a book by John Kotter on the subject ‘managing successful change’ called Our Iceberg Is Melting. Kotter is a Professor at Harvard Business School, and has been writing on the topics of ‘successful change’ and leadership for several decades. Written in 2005, the book approaches what could very easily be  a dry, academic subject, through the story-telling medium of the ‘fable’.

Given our increasingly fast-paced and rapidly changing modern lives, it occurred to me that there may be lessons we can take away from the penguin story. So, what follows is a brief summary of the key learnings from the story, and how we might apply some much-needed ‘penguin-logic’ to our daily lives as humans.

Our Iceberg Is Melting tells the tale of a colony of Emperor Penguins in Antarctica. The colony has inhabited the same iceberg for generations, and they have naturally come to think of it at their permanent home. Then, one day, a curious-minded penguin called Fred makes the unwelcome discovery that their iceberg is melting, endangering the lives of the entire colony.

What follows is the tale of how the penguins cope with this impending crisis, and the inevitable change that has been foisted upon them. It is a story of denial, fear, resistance to change, penguin politics, overcoming obstacles, heroism, and ultimate success.

Adventures in Car Sharing (Episode 2)

We are now entering our second week as a car-sharing household.

I’ll admit to experiencing more than a little trepidation before embarking upon our ‘grand’ experiment. It all sounded great on paper: save money. Save time. Be kinder to the environment. But would the theory measure up in practice?

My wife and I decided we wanted to save money and help the environment by running one car. We both work within a few miles of one another, so we could car-share during the morning commute. As we tend to finish work at different times, I would then travel the ‘return leg’ by bus.

Around the time we were considering our ‘one-car policy’, my brother’s beloved 13-year-old Ford began to misbehave. After some well-timed to-ing and fro-ing, we all agreed that he would buy our ‘two owners from new’ and save us the trouble of selling privately.

The reality of our decision didn’t really hit home until I dropped off the car keys with their proud new owner. I then realized that this was it: the last time I would drive my car. The last time I would enjoy the convenience of doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, without having to plan ahead. The reality hit home. I’d been spoilt. Taking transport-on-demand for granted.

Walking Saved My Life

“All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

When I left my previous job in the Autumn of 2007, I was exhausted, overweight, unfit and thoroughly miserable.

My life was completely out of balance. I’d been working long hours in a recruitment sales role, doing a 2-hour commute several times a week. Neglecting my wife, neglecting my family & friends, and neglecting myself. In short, I was burnt out and depressed.

Work (or worries about work), had become my entire existence. I use the word ‘existence’ intentionally. I wasn’t living life, I was simply going through the motions. Surviving. Chalking up the days, weeks and months like a prisoner.

It got to the stage where I started to get ‘that Sunday feeling’ on Saturday mornings. I couldn’t even enjoy the weekends anymore. My entire day-to-day life had become a maelstrom of apprehensions and anxieties. My mind contaminated and preoccupied by toxic work thoughts.

As you can imagine, I wasn’t a huge amount of fun to be around at this time. I had started to withdraw from friends and family. I avoided social situations and even began finding them intimidating. I was also becoming increasingly irascible and distant towards my lovely wife. I was becoming a misanthrope.

I had no choice. I had to change my life. I had to leave my job, or risk divorce, chronic depression or worse. I was 33 years old.

The Dangers of Meta-think

Anxious? Moi?

“Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow” ~ Swedish Proverb

In George Orwell’s distopian masterpiece ‘1984’, one of the tools used by the totalitarian regime to manipulate and control it’s citizens is the concept of ‘Double Think’: the state of holding two contradictory thoughts simultaneously.

In the real world of 2011, it appears that the greater danger is arguably ‘meta-think’: our increasing tendency to over-think and over-analyze. Piling worry, upon worry, upon worry, in a runaway downward spiral.

Meta-think can all too easily multiply one problem into many, as the brain follows the potential implications of one worry, thereby generating 2nd, 3rd and 4th order worries, making these ‘meta-worries’ as real and vivid as the original thought that prompted them.

Before you can say ‘raised blood pressure’, meta-think has converted one worry into a vast universe of 2nd, 3rd & 4th order anxieties, all spawned from the original. The thinking becomes self-referential and locked into a perpertual negative feedback loop.

Unfortunately, the body can’t really tell the difference between a ‘real’ or ‘imagined’ threat, so it naturally engages the fight or flight stress response, leading to anxiety, fear, apprehension, irritabilty; even triggering depression if sustained over time.

Battle: Bellygeddon (Part 1)

Muffin top? What muffin top?

It all came to a predictable head during that surreal ‘limbo’ period between Christmas and New Year last year. The belly had to go!

Like many of us, I’ve struggled to maintain my ‘ideal’ weight (as defined by BMI), for much of my childhood and adult life, aside from some frustratingly fleeting periods around the ages of 16-18, and when I got married nearly 8 years ago.

My 37th birthday was rapidly approaching, and I didn’t relish the prospect of becoming yet another man approaching his 40’s boasting the obligatory moobs and muffin-top. Not an an appealing look, I’m sure you’ll agree.

I know that we’ve all been brought up with the notion that “appearances don’t count” and “it’s what’s inside that counts”. Both laudable ideals. However, the harsh reality is that appearances and perceptions do matter to some degree. As human beings we are visual and sensory creatures. We can’t help but be influenced by what we see. People make assumptions and preconceptions based on superficial visual data. We may believe we are immune to this, but it’s hardwired into our DNA. We can’t help it.

How to Write a Winning CV

Having worked in the UK recruitment industry for 13 years, I understand how difficult and frustrating it can be trying to write a CV that will grab an employer’s attention. It can be can be quite an intimidating exercise having to condense your working life into a few short pages!

So, I’ve written a guide to CV writing aimed at anyone from recent Graduates, through to senior managers undergoing a career change. I hope you find it useful.

What is a CV?

A CV (or Curriculum Vitae) is a factual summary of your key skills, experience, qualifications, achievements, and career objectives. A CV should be a clear, unambiguous and concise overview, which encourages potential employers to invite you to interview.

• The sole purpose of a CV is to get you an interview. It is a marketing tool and sales brochure that maximizes your chances of being offered an interview.

• Most employers and recruiters will spend less than 30 seconds reviewing your CV. Therefore, it must capture the reader’s immediate attention and make a positive impact. The impact your CV makes will determine whether you are invited to interview.

• Most employers will interview the candidate who has the best CV, not necessarily the candidate who is best suited to the job. The candidate who gets hired is typically the one who knows how to create a high-impact CV, not necessarily the one who can do the job best.

Adventures in Car Sharing (Episode 1)

Well, it’s finally happened: my wife and I have graduated to full card-carrying ‘Tree Hugger’ status by deciding to become a 1-car household.

This may not sound like a dramatic, eco-warrior style decision to any die-hard greenies out there, but it has been a genuine leap into the unknown for us, particularly given that we both work full-time.

It’s my trusty Peugeot we’ve decided to let go. We’re selling it to my younger brother, whose own car is currently in its death throes. So, there’s some comfort knowing its going to a good home.

So what precipitated this sudden outpouring of eco-zeal? Well, my wife and I have been on a gradual journey of simplification, decluttering and life balancing for several years now, ranging from dramatic career downsizing, through to the slightly less lofty clearing out of the sock drawer. We’ve instinctively adopted a incrementalist approach to life change. Adopting the perennial cliche of ‘evolution’ over revolution.

I’d actually raised the topic of becoming a 1-car household around 12 months ago. At the time we dismissed it out of hand, primarily for reasons of convenience and because it just seemed too radical in a world where your most of your neighbours, work colleagues and friends own 2 cars. Well, the ones outside of London anyway.

Afterall, we’ve been a 2-car family our entire working lives. How could we possibly live in 2011 without more than one car?! What next? Biking into work via Penny Farthing?